she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
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