if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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