Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Actions speak louder than pants.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
