Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize