go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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