So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
