you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
