so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
i think i scared a bird with my dick
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Randomize
