tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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