i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
