man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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