We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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