I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
