do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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