Dual....:-)
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
