you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
