oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
