Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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