could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
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I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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