Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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