she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
