we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
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Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
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That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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