You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
