Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
