I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
