If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
