Since when is my name a synonym for head?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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