Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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