1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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