Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
