Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Randomize
