And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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