dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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