In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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