I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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