those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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