so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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