he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Everyone says I win the strip club
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
