You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
