Pappa wants mamma naked
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
