i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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