so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize