I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
it glows. i had to have it.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
we should paint friendship bongs
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