90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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