I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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