on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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