therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
