really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
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He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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