I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
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