i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
