I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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