There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
