Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Randomize
