I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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