you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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