I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You were trust falling into bushes
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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