So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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