this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
