Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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