Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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