we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
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Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
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My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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