You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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