She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
